


Cigarette Daydreams

by mtvsuckz



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe, Angst, Childhood Friends, Closeted, Coming Out, Coming of Age, Domestic Violence, Drugs, Gay, LGBTQ, M/M, Multi Chapter, Multichapter, No smut:(, Pining, Self Harm, Slow Burn, Smoking, Underage - Freeform, Underage Drinking, but mentions of sex, highschool, larry stylinson - Freeform, mlm, not in one direction, some violence, these tags sending me sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:54:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26591737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mtvsuckz/pseuds/mtvsuckz
Summary: You ever seen shameless? Harry is Ian, Louis is Mickey. Yeah .
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 8
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

_“Louuu,” Harry whines trying to get his glasses back “give it back, asshole!” Louis just chuckles and puts them on with a silly facial expression, “How do they look Harold?” Harry scoffs and puts them back on his own head. “You’re stupid I can’t see without these...” He mutters as he readjusts his glasses. Louis just laughs softly “I’m just messing with you, Curly. Hey, did your mom say I could come over and hang out?” Harry smiles and nods. The bell rings and everyone in the hall scatters to their next class. “Shit, I’m gonna get a detention! See you, Styles!” Louis grabs Harry’s purple beanie before he can process it and sprints off to his next class._

Harry doesn’t wear glasses anymore. He thinks they make him look ugly. Walking around Doncaster during Winter is just asking to die from the freeze. Harry puts on his fingerless gloves and beanie and walks out the door, heading to school. When Harry breathes and cold smoke comes out, it makes him think of when he and Louis were younger pretending the vapor was cigarette smoke.

Speaking of Louis and cigarettes, he sees his best friend sitting on his porch step smoking a menthol. “Going to school?” Lou asks, cheeks sucking in when he takes a hit. “Where else would I be going?” Harry genuinely asks. Louis just shrugs. Louis is 19 and lives in his parents old house. It’s small but it’s just him and his dog, Clifford. Well, unless you count Harry crashing every weekend. Hannah, Louis’ girlfriend, stays there a lot too. Harry sits down next to Louis, grabbing the cigarette from him and taking a hit. “You need to not smoke, don’t ruin them healthy lungs of yours,” Louis says, half joking. Harry chuckles and gives it back to him, standing up, “I’m gonna go, you still up for a movie later?” Louis smiles with the smoke between his teeth and nods.

Harry walks home with a couple of his school friends. “Did you guys listen to my new beat?” Oscar asks. Harry and Charlotte look at eachother with wide eyes and Harry giggles. “What? Does it suck? Did you guys even listen to it?” Oscar says in confusion. “No no I didn’t get the chance to listen but I will after school. Promise!” Charlotte says. “I heard it Oscar and let me tell you, that was your best one yet. Truly!” Harry lies. It’s not that Oscar is bad. Harry just hates techno DJ shit and that’s all Oscar makes. Harry wishes he didn’t abandon guitar because Oscar was really good at guitar. Harry saw Zayn and Louis, smoking of course, across the street. “Hey I’ll see you guys later. Me, Louis and Zayn are going to see a movie.” Harry says and sprints across the street to both boys. “Be careful idiot!” Charlotte yells as a car almost hits him, beeping loud and Oscar just laughs. “Hey, are we still seeing a movie? What movie are we even seeing?” Harry asks, a little out of breath. “Inception. Is it okay if Hannah comes too?” Louis suggests. Both boys nod. Harry internally sighs. Hannah is a sweet girl, don’t get him wrong. She’s just _so_ unbearable sometimes. She always complains and is so clingy. Not to mention, her voice is so high pitched it hurts Harry’s ears when he’s around her too long. She makes Louis happy though so he can’t complain too much.

Louis walks up to Hannah’s house and flicks his cigarette to the ground, stomping on it. “Wait out here for a second I’ll be right back,” Louis says and walks through her screen door. After a few minutes, Hannah and Louis walk out. She’s wearing one of Louis’ hoodie. “I’ll see you later mum! I’m going out with Louis and the boys, love you!” She yells, her accent coming out strong. Hannah gives them her sweet signature smile, “Hi boys!” She says in a cheery tone. Harry noticed she changed the color of her braces bands. They’re dark blue now. Harry smiles and waves at her but Zayn just nods.

Zayn is always so quiet sometimes. It’s a part of his whole “mysterious, bad boy” act. Harry finds it a little humorous because Zayn is the complete opposite of that in reality. He’s really loud and funny and a huge loser when you really get to know him. 

Louis suggests they go to the woods to smoke a spliff first. “Um, yeah baby, that sounds good with me!” Hannah says, clearly a bit nervous but smiles anyway. Louis just smiles at her and pulls out the pre-rolled spliff as they all enter the woods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! This is my first fanfic so bare with me plz I hope you guys enjoy it :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Hope you guys enjoy this chapter:) peep the song rec too lol

_“Harry! You ass!” Louis laughs and throws a snowball back at him. Harry gasps and rubs his eye with his snowy mitten, “That was in my eye! I think I’m blind!” Harry whines and dramatically falls down into the snow. Louis just laughs, “You’re such a drama queen, you’re fine!” Harry just gives him a pained look, he can’t help but smile and give away his act._

The sun is beaming on Harry’s face as he wakes up, squinting. It’s near noon and Harry looks out the window. It’s snowing. He gets up and looks out the window with a smile. Harry loves winter. It makes him feel warm inside despite the cold feeling outside. He feels his phone vibrate. He sees the contact “Lou” on his screen and checks the text. 

_‘Hang today?’_  
Harry smiles and texts back.   
_‘Yeah, be over soon:)’_

Harry quickly gets dressed, making sure it’s appropriate for the weather. When he goes in the kitchen, he sees his mom brewing up a cup of coffee. “Morning love, want some coffee?” Anne says while pouring it into a mug. “I’m okay, thank you though” Harry answers. 

“Did you see it’s snowing out? I’m so happy! I know it’s your favorite!” Anne says in a cheery tone. “Yeah I love it, do you think I could hang out with Louis for a bit?” Harry asks his mom, grabbing a banana off the counter. 

“Of course, have fun! Be safe, love you!” Anne says with a heart warming smile. “Love you! I’ll be home later tonight!” Harry yells while walking out the door and taking a bite of his banana. 

When Harry gets to Louis’ house, he decides to just walk in. He’s moved past the need for knocking, Louis doesn’t care anyway. “Louis!” Harry yells. No response. Harry walks in Louis’ room and sees him laying on his bed. Earbuds in, eyes closed and tapping his fingers along to the beat. Harry smirks and walks over to rip Louis’ earbuds out. “What the hell was that for!?” Louis yells and sits up on his elbows. Harry just laughs and answers “I’m messing with you. Chill out, psycho.” Louis laughs and playfully hits his stomach. 

Harry sits on the edge of the bed and notices his friend look over to the desk across the room. “Come here, check this out.” Louis says and gets off his bed, walking to the desk. He pulls out an old looking sketchbook with stickers all over it. “I found my old sketchbook from high school, wanna look through it with me?” Harry chuckles and nods. 

The first page is a sketch of the “In Utero” album by Nirvana with bright highlighters coloring it in. “I remember how obsessed you were that album, shit got annoying after a while.” Harry says with a slight smirk. “Hey! Don’t diss Nirvana!” Louis yells in defense and smiles while flipping another page. “I’m dissing you, idiot. Hey, are you cold or something? Why are you shaking so much?” Harry asks with his eyebrows furrowed as he notices how shakey Louis’ hands are. Louis just shakes his head “I’m fine, oh my god!” He bursts into laughter and closes his notebook quickly.

“What? What was it? Show me! Louuu!” Harry whines like a toddler trying to snatch the notebook and when he does, his eyes go wide. “Why the fuck did you draw my sister? There’s even hearts everywhere, you perv!” He says with a disgusted face, “It’s not pervy! I was like 16, fuck off!” Louis says in defense while laughing. 

After the laughter dies down, Louis turns the page of the sketchbook so quickly, he rips the corner. Harry grabs the book from his hands with frustration and starts flipping through it himself. His mood automatically changes when he sees more drawings of different album covers, landscapes and even another portrait of Harry himself. “You should really get back into art, Lou.” Harry says earnestly. 

Louis shakes his head as he tosses the notebook into the pile of clutter on the floor. “I dunno, I feel like I lost my talent for it.” Harry has a look of confusion on his face, “You just haven’t done it in a while, draw me something!” Harry says while crossing his legs. 

Louis chuckles, “I don’t even know what to draw” he says while grabbing paper and a pen. “Anything man, you’re the artist!” Harry says, shrugging and sparking a preroll he grabbed from his jacket pocket. Harry throws himself into a coughing fit after inhaling too much. Louis laughs at him and takes the joint, “That’s why you don’t take huge hits with your virgin lungs, Styles!” Harry just rolls his eyes at him, “My lungs aren’t virgin, Lou.” Louis smiles at him and continues his drawing while taking his hits.

Louis brushed off the eraser bits with his hand and looked at his drawing. “Are you done already? Show me!” Harry says getting up from his seat to look at the drawing. It’s a drawing of the window next to his desk with snow falling and the collapsing snowman his little sisters made. “Lou! How cute!” Harry says while messing with Louis’ hair and teasing him. “You still have your talent dude, I told you!” Louis smiles and fixes his hair. “Thank you, Harry.” He just smiles back at him. 

Suddenly, his door opens. “Oh hey, Harry.” Hannah says, setting her bag down and going over to Louis’ chair, kissing the top of his head. “Ah yeah, Hey Hannah.” Harry says, sounding obviously annoyed. 

“Sorry Han, Harry and I were just looking at some old drawings of mine.” Louis says to his girlfriend. “Aw baby, show me!” Hannah says while going to sit on Louis’ lap. Harry just looks around awkwardly, “I’ll see you later, Lou. See ya, Hannah.” Harry says while walking out of his room. Harry feels a little irritated but knows he has no right to really feel that way. He wishes he could just hang with his best friend without his annoying girlfriend all the time. 

Harry rubs his face in frustration as he walks home. When he walks in the front door, no one is home. He walks into his bedroom and slams the door shut, out of habit. He puts on his favorite Simple Plan album on, ‘Get your heart on’ and lays down on his bed, soaking up the music and drifting to sleep. 

— 

Harry jolts awake to his phone ringing and answers it. “Hello?” He mumbles. “Harry! You coming to my party tonight?” Oscar yells through the phone, Harry stuffs his face in his pillow to muffle his groan. “I don’t know man, I don’t think I can.” Harry lies. “Dude what? Of course you can! C’mon it’s gonna be a banger, dude!” Oscar pleads and Harry just rolls his eyes. He feels guilty now, Harry never goes to Oscar’s parties. “Fine, I’ll be over tonight.” Harry says, giving in. “Hell yeah! See you then, Styles.” Oscar says and Harry quickly ends the call. 

Harry loves Oscar, don’t get him wrong, he’s just too energetic for mellow Harry. Harry looks at the time. 10:35pm. He didn’t mean to sleep so long. He gets up from his bed and looks down to see he’s already practically dressed, wearing an old sweatshirt and ripped jeans. He’s not really trying to impress anyone there, anyway. Slipping on his boots, he walks out and sees his mom on the couch watching some reality show. Harry sits next to her to tie his shoe laces, “I’m gonna go to Oscar’s party tonight, is that alright?” Harry asks. Anne gives him a questionable look. “No drinking or drugs, Harry.” She tells him with a smile to know she’s not being too stern. 

“Where’s Lou?” She asks. If Harry goes to a party, Louis is usually already with him. Harry shakes his head, “I think he’s just gonna hang with Hannah tonight” He says while getting up, ready to leave. Anne just frowns, “Well be safe, I love you, Be home in the morning!” She yells as Harry is walking out the door. 

Before the party, he decides to get a pack of smokes. “Harry! How are you, my man?” Jerry, the gas station attendant says with a big smile, his gold tooth shining. Harry smiles and waves, “I’m great, Jerry. Pack a Marlboro lights?” He says pointing and pulling his wallet out. “I think my manager is catching on, show me something. A card or whatever.” Jerry loudly whispers, Harry isn’t 18 quite yet. Harry chuckles and pulls out a random gift card, “Alright, alright here” Jerry gives him a side eye look while giving him the pack. “Have a great night, Jerry!” Harry says after paying and leaves. 

When Harry shows up at Oscar’s, he sees flashing lights, people talking on the front porch, red solo cups and beer bottles everywhere, and the muffled sound of club music is blaring. Harry walks in and sees a shit ton of random people. Some he knew, some he didn’t.

“Harry, my man! How’s it going? Have you gotten a drink yet?” Oscar says when he stumbles across Harry and puts an arm around him. “Hey, yeah yeah, the music is awesome man.” Harry says. He fucking hates club music. Some random girl comes up to Oscar and starts dancing on him, “Go crazy, Styles!” Oscar says, walking away from him with the girl. Harry laughs and shakes his head, heading to the kitchen for a drink. 

There’s a lot of options but Harry decides a shit ton of strawberry vodka will do. He pours it in his cup and bottoms up. He sighs and looks around. He feels awkward and out of place. He wishes Louis was here, he’d feel way more comfortable. So to solve the tension, he begins downing his cup and walks towards to large crowd of people. He already feels buzzed. 

Harry looks around and sees no one he really knows. He sighs heavily and regrets coming. He’s shaken from his thoughts when someone bumps into him. “Shit...” Harry mutters and turns around to see a bleach blond, tall-ish looking man. “Sorry about that!” The stranger says. Harry assured him that it’s fine, “Have I seen you before?” The man says with a slur in his voice. Harry awkwardly laughs “I dunno, have you?” The stranger laughs with him. “I’m Jack. You look really good tonight.” That takes Harry back a bit. “Harry and um thanks.” He feels a bit awkward but doesn’t mind it too much. He’s not gay but he can’t help but feel flattered when another man hits on him. 

Jack begins dancing alongside Harry and Harry finishes his drink and tosses it on the ground to join him. The song Monophobia by Deadmau5 is blaring through the speakers as Harry and Jack are dancing together. The two are really close with Jack’s arm wrapped around Harry’s neck, drink in the other. Harry doesn’t really notice how close they are until Jack grinds his crotch into his. Harry backs away and walks away from Jack quickly. He feels a bit uncomfortable. So, he grabs another cup and pours more of the strawberry drink in, downing it in one go. Harry feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. Pulling it out, he sees it’s a text from Louis.

 _What’s up!_  
Harry smiles and sends a reply.   
_At Oscar’s party. I feel sooo awkward_  
Louis texts back relatively quick.   
_:(_  
_You having any fun tho?_

Harry goes down the hall and surprisingly the bathroom is empty. He goes in and quickly locks it, sliding down the wall and sitting on the floor. He decides to call Louis. 

“Harry.” Louis says, you can practically hear his smile. “Louis.” Harry says with a more than likely bigger smile than Louis’.

Harry starts to giggle. “What’s so funny?” Louis says, laughing at Harry. “Nothing, Nothing. I got hit on by a gay guy.” Louis genuinely laughs. “Oh yeah? You teaming for two now?” Louis jokes and Harry’s smile fades a bit. “No, no I didn’t hit on him! He hit on me. I think I’m just irresistible.” Harry says with sarcasm in his tone. “Oh definitely, curls! Hey I took your advice and I’m drawing a lot today. Wanna see?” Louis asks. Harry gets excited. “Yes! Send me a.. send me a pic” he says, slurring his words. 

Louis chuckles and a few seconds later Harry gets a pic of three sketches of Louis’. One of an old tree, a skull, and butterflies. “I love it, Lou. You’re so good... at drawing. You’re so good at drawing. And art. You should do tattoos. Like... like be a tattoo artist or- or something. I’d even let you tattoo me!” Harry rambles on. “Oh, you trust me enough to tattoo you? You’re giving me permission to permanently mark you? You’re an idiot.” Louis says laughing. 

Harry smiles and hiccups, leaning his head on the wall. Harry jumps to some dude banging on the door and jiggling the knob. “Hey! Who’s in there?” Some random voice shouts. “Shit, I’ll talk to you later.” Harry hangs up and stumbles to get up, opening the door. 

He sees a guy and some girl sucking and kissing on his neck. He gives Harry a smirk before shoving past him to go inside with the girl. Harry goes in the kitchen to get another drink, watching Oscar DJ. He leans on the counter and downs what he remembered being another two shots. The rest of the night is just a blur.


End file.
